She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
