Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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