So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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