Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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