woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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