I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
