no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
