remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
