real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
