I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
