You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
