Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
