very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
