I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
