he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
