I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Someone signed my nipple.
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