We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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