biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
