Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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