she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
