Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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