Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
