Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
