it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
