i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
