You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
