sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
