i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
