Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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