Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
