I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
