I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
