Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
