I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
birth control should be required to get into college
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
