I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
