Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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