Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
