He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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