I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize