She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
