my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
