I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize