I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What a dumb baby whore.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
