Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
