please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
