At least make sure they are 18
Why
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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