I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
