I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
