it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Randomize
