I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
