How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
