i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
honey bunches of taint.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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