I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
