hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
