Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He better not be in your backpack
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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