i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
