Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
